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[mariezx2]

My mother-in-law and her children are living with us right now.  I'm looking for any advice you have or recipies that would everyone would like.  They are MAJOR beef ppl and it's kinda hard to work around.  Or things that I could make for me without too much work.

[kristi-bisti]

beef in the slow cooker is excellent.  or Pulled pork is super easy too.

[lolita1971]

Have you ever looked at Diabetic Life?  http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/diabetic-recipes/
I was turned on by one of my bariatric doctors. Great site for recipes.

[lesliethequeen]

David' - well, everyone's - recipes in the "Food and Stuff" thread are really yummy.And he serves them to nonsurgery folks and they love them, too. Have a look.

[McNee]

Are you asking because you have difficulty with certain foods?

Cause otherwise there's no reason you can't be cooking "normal" (but healthy" meals that contain a protein, veges and even some starch and just focus on the protein part for yourself with some healthy veges and maybe the occasional bit of starch.

Then it's a matter of finding stuff that everyone might like.

But there's also a lot of things you could make for them, and then take a bit of the protein and quickly whip something slighlty different for yourself I suppose. I am just finishing the posts on formerfatdudes.com on "chicken six ways" where I took a batch of chicken and made six, very different meals from it.

If you cook some chicken for the family but maybe you want something more than just plain chicken, the tortilla pizza or chicken salad or a wrap sandwich would be easy things you could do with your bit of the chicken.

If it's beef, check out my beef tortillas with balsamic onions... http://positively-healthy.com/807/beef-tortillas-with-balasamic-onions/ - even without the wrap, maybe served on a bed of quinoa this would be really good.  And I bet the whole family would love the wrap version.

[Seht]

I have a similar problem but it's my family that has the issues.

I can cook healthy light and convenient foods that I find enjoyable, but they don't
I'm not even talking about substituting in "diet" foods Just regular healthy meals.

The problem is they still want the high octane version of everything and I'll be damned if they can't tell the difference.

Very rarely can I sneak something by them.  I gave up on telling them what is in it because that is just an absolute recipe for disaster.  If they know it's the version that isn't loaded with heavy cream and butter they are going to say they don't like it before they even try it.

However even when I don't tell them I find that most of the time they can tell the difference taste, texture, mouth feel, they just don't like it.

I joke that if it isn't boiled and covered in some kind of gravy or friend then they won't like it.

My mother-in-law was raised on a farm back in the early part of the 20th Cent.  They are used to having biscuits and tons of butter and honey or jam with every meal.  Potatoes or corn covered in butter etc. etc.

An example of her breakfast and this is an every day meal.  5 eggs fried in butter, 2 English muffins loaded with butter and homemade jams, a cup of coffee filled with heavy cream or half and half until it is almost white in color.

The only time that meal changes is on the weekend when my wife will make pancakes or waffles and bacon.

The irritating part is that if I want to eat healthy I am having to cook my own meal or my wife is having to cook two meals which of course means twice the clean up.  That or I have to try and eat around what they are having or just have such a small portion of what they are having that I don't feel satisfied when I'm done. 

To be truthful, I enjoy those foods too, I think they taste better than the healthy choice.  I could live with just the healthy foods if the crappy food choices weren't around the house constantly.  Those foods always leave me wanting more and then I'm fighting a cravings monster.

It's like being an alcoholic and working for a bar, or a diabetic in a candy store.

I have had the conversation with my family about eating healthy and helping me with this.  Their response is this was your choice, and you will succeed or fail based on your actions.  They aren't going to change their eating habits.

[McNee]

I have had the conversation with my family about eating healthy and helping me with this.  Their response is this was your choice, and you will succeed or fail based on your actions.  They aren't going to change their eating habits.

See, this is why I need more guys, guys like you writing with me on FFD.

I've never been married. I haven't even had a room mate really in about 20 years. I could get you all sorts of "suggestions", but I've never been in this sort of position to even really have a clue about dealing with it.

[Seht]

I'm not a very good writer, but I'd be glad to answer or participate in any discussions.

I can kind of see their point to a certain degree.  I will ultimately fail or succeed based on my own actions.  Sure they could help me or they could provide road blocks to make it harder on me, but ultimately it is my decision to put that cookie in my mouth or take another portion.

I just find that I do better on a strict regime.  If I am allowed to deviate or am provided with options I find that I almost always choose the wrong one.  Bit weak willed when it comes to food.  It truly is and always will be my addiction.

Scott

[MacMadame]

I negotiated some rules with my family. I figure since they are family, they need to be somewhat accommodating in a way that total strangers do not. They were okay with the rules we came up with and they (mostly) follow them. The rule are: I don't buy junk. If they want it, they have to get it themselves. The other rule is we are all allowed to have a trigger food we don't allow in the house. For Mini-Mac, it's chips. For me, it's cookies. We have asked the rest of the family to respect our triggers and mostly they do. If they buy this stuff, they keep it out of the main cabinets, at least. But mostly they eat it away from home.

I'm kind of surprised your wife isn't taking up the challenge to figure out how to make delicious food that is also less calorific, like Chef Dave, though. Since she loves to cook, it would be a way for her to be creative with her cooking and come up with new recipes. It's definitely possible to come up with some tasty stuff too.

I know that everyone RAVES about my cake pops and I make them with hardly any added sugar or fat. But they are actually decadent. Now, I can't say they are wildly healthy... they are covered in chocolate and sprinkles made out of sugar after all But most of them are only 50 calories and hardly any of it comes from sugar. Starbuck's cake pops have 150-200 calories and don't taste any better than mine from what people say.

[lolita1971]

I have a hard time with my husband brining home things when I ask him not to.  Also, when my dad comes to stay with us, he only eats bread, steak and pastries.  It's hard to cook separate foods for everyone.  How I wish my dad would be willing to eat a salad with grilled chicken. 

Now, my husband doesn't complain too much when I cook and he's good about eating salad.  I make a lot of tofu and thankfully my husband will eat it (especially if I make it cooked like paneer) but he's not too into eating tofu when I make Chinese food. 

It's hard when everyone eats so different in the same household. 

[Seht]

She does like to cook, but she likes to cook what she likes and most of that isn't the low cal WLS friendly foods.

[baka]

I don't understand that kind of selfish mentality.

If my wife said she needed to eat tripe for her to remain healthy and live a long and active life then to me it's a no brainer...

Ian is gonna be eating a shit load of tripe!

How can someone who is supposed to love/care after you not put your health and well being front and center?

I just don't get it.........

Ian

[Seht]

She supports me and encourages me on my trip, but she isn't changing her lifestyle and that of the rest of the family for me.  So I have to be responsible for my own actions and choices.  She shops for me gets me the things i want etc, she just doesn't plan or cater to my food needs over the rest of the family.

I actually agree with her that I will fail or succeed on my own merits and actions.  It certainly would be easier if they all ate the same stuff I did, but that's not how it is.

[lolita1971]

As a wife, I know that I would want to take my spouses dietary needs into consideration and encourage a healthy lifestyle.  Well, it's true we are all responsible for our lives.  Getting a little personal, but do the two of you work?  Don't you remember after having a bad day we (I) would go for the fat comfort food, now that just isn't an option.  Maybe she has a very stressful work and seeks comfort in her food as well.

I was talking to a girlfriend at work on Wednesday (my bad day) and she was talking about her brother who weighed over 500 lbs and had the surgery.  He had lost the weight he needed (according to her), but being from a Mexican family the diet was still loaded with the high fat foods.  His wife, I don't know how much she weighs but according to my girlfriend, the fat roles literally go past her private areas.

What she noticed is that she still cooks the same but then serves her husband on a smaller plate.  She then will pile her plate to the top  It's hard when your partner doesn't help with the choices we make but at the end, no one is with a gun to our head making us eat it.   

Here's the thing... if you refuse to eat what she makes and walk away, she'll get the idea.  Go get a nice package of Organic Spring mix and some natural chicken breast and make yourself a healthy salad.  So, if she does serve you something you shouldn't eat, you wont eat it.

I have an even better idea...ready?  Why don't you offer to start cooking!  Take control of the situation and start showing her how you need to eat.  You might really enjoy going to the grocery store and reading the labels.  Hit a Whole Foods Market or something similar.  Look at all the healthy options you can try.  Explore new vegetables!  Kale and quinoa salad?  Chia seed pudding? 

You can do it and I bet slowly it will work itself out.

[McNee]

I dunno...

Ian, I can see your point... but can also see that of the "family members". There's got to be some sort of balance that can be struck I would think.

I get what you said about it being selfish, but the other side of that coin... us expecting others to change for our benefit... isn't that also a bit selfish? Granted, "it's because I want to be/stay healthy" is a ... I hesitate to use the term... "better reason" than simply saying "because I don't like it", but I think by definition it's still being a bit selfish. Does the side benefit of someone also probably getting healthier because they are making a change that benefits us make it less selfish? mm... maybe.

And maybe some form of counseling should be looked at? Yes, "we" choose to make this life-style change, but in many ways we fight the same battle as someone with a drug/alcohol addiction. If you were a recovering alcoholic, would the continue to bring beer and wine in to the house and drink it around you every night?

If someone in the family was diagnosed with celiac disease... is it fair to ask the entire family to never have a piece of regular bread or some pasta again? If the person is severely allergic... is it fair to that person for other family members to put them at risk by bringing such items in to the house where cross-contamination is a real risk?

Maybe baby steps are a possible solution? Like was suggested, asking for help in keeping your trigger foods "out of sight, out of mind", but maybe also when it comes to meals... fine.. they have what they want 5-6 days a week, but 1-2 days a week everyone agrees to eat something "healthy", with no fuss, no complaints. If they aren't satisfied after the meal is over, they can go out and get something... but they have to give it an honest try.

My first thought when it was mentioned that they can tell it's a "healthy" version and they don't like it was that it's not that it isn't just as tasty, just that it's different, that it's not what they're used to. It's an extreme example, but my nephew who is mildly autistic is like that... even with his favorite foods, if something is done slightly different at times, he will notice it and often refuse to eat it... because it's different.

[Seht]

This kind of rambles, but one thought just led to the next:

Oh I can cook, but if I cook then I tend to cook spicy and nobody else in the family will eat it.

They support me so many other ways, the encourage my exercise, the let me spend a significant amount of money on training and equipment and going to races.  We even scheduled our family vacation to Disney World around my wanting to run the marathon there.

The only thing they aren't willing to change is what they eat, and that's my weakness.  My wife will buy me whatever I ask for when she does the grocery shopping.  I can cook for myself.  Where I am weak is staying out of the foods they prepare for their dinner.  I have 40 years of eating that crappy food and I like it.  Even when it makes me sick, I still have those 40 years of memories that start the head hunger games.

My family has been so supportive of all the other aspects, they are happy for me that I have lost the weight, that I am healthier and that I want to continue to be healthy.  I think it's pretty selfish to demand that they change every part of their life to support my decisions. 

I feel as if food is my lifelong drug addiction.  It is always going to be there.  I thought that after 4 years of eating healthier and losing all this weight it would have been good motivation and retraining, but I still crave that crappy food. 

That food addiction is always going to be there for me. 
The food addiction and attraction is so strong that I have had moments when I questioned my surgery, Did I make the right choice, would I do it again.  Yes I do occasionally miss the days of pigging out.

I know that I have a compulsive personality that's why I don't gamble or smoke and I rarely have a drink.  I know those could easily be life consuming bad habits that I would form.

I believe that a food addiction is stronger than any drug or alcohol.  You don't have to have drugs or alcohol to survive on a daily basis, but food is part of your daily existence you have to eat so it is always there, you can't eliminate it from your life.

I hear people say oh food is just fuel, I never get hungry, I have to remember to eat.  None of those apply to me.

[T'Rina-Lock-DS]

This reminds me how very lucky I am, my husband is 6'3 and 215 pounds and he would like to be 190-200 and get rid of his belly for his own sake (he knows I dont care and just want him to be healthy)  He is totally willing to eat variations on my food.
I often cook sauces that are very meaty and eat them in a small bowl with cheese on them and then serve him a serving of the sauce over WW noodles or Brown rice (he has grown to prefer it) when he craves pizza we buy a $2 take and bake french bread pizza that is one large serving and he doesn't get mad if I nibble a taste of the topping, he doesn't buy a Large and expect it to be around for him to nibble on for 2 days. 
For breakfast I will make him a Strata (like a quiche mixed with bread pudding... eggs and filling over a torn up piece of bread) and make me a crustless quiche and it is fine.  once every few months I make up a big potato based casserole, tons of eggs and cheese and meat then freeze it in small single servings I use to make breakfast burritos with using WW shells.  We have a big freezer so I will make  up meals ahead of time...his are over pasta or rice and mine are the sauce or meat part of the meal in a smaller container. 
The only one thing I cook that he balks at is soup, he dislikes the texture but doesn't mind when I make a huge pot, give half to mom and grandma and freeze the rest..lol he doesn't even mind when I take out some of the soup, put in a ton of noodles or rice, cheese it up like a casserole and bake it then serve it to him.
Also he has pretty much given up store bought ice cream and enjoys my protein ice cream, we dont buy cookies since I will get into them but I do get him rolls of cookie dough once in a while and slice them up, personally i think it is gross and he loves it so it works.  We also freeze up bagels and english muffins and he eats those about once a week on the weekend.
He use to drink TONS of Sobe and some soda and now he will have a liter of pop maybe 2 times a month at the game we play and doesn't drink Sobe, he is as likely to make a big glass of tea and put in a sugar cube or two which is still next to nothing compared to soda.

I pack his lunch and it is pretty darn healthy now, when we met this was his average lunch:
a store bought sandwich on cheap and not very good bread
a snack baggy of cheeze-its,
a 20 oz sobe (ave 280+ cals of sugar)
a 16 oz sugary Strawberry milk
2 yoplait yougurts
and THREE big slices of bread just to munch on

this is an average lunch now:
a homemade sandwich usually on Whole grain bread (once in a while Dill or Brown but not often) Lean sandwich meat and cheese with some salad dressing (sometimes tuna or chicken salad)..I have slacked about putting spinach on it so have to buy some
a 22 oz bottle of 2% milk (this is his milk for the day) that he flavors with SF syrup
2 yoplaits
and either a fruit like a sliced apple or a veg like a sliced tomato
and Occasionally a treat like a chunk of cookie dough, or some of my brown rice pudding with fruit and nuts and eggs
and if I have it a chunk or stick of cheese

In the last year Alex has lost 7 pounds without trying BTW

[T'Rina-Lock-DS]

OOOHHH ADVICE... let her cook for herself

[MacMadame]

I know she likes to cook what she likes to cook, I'm just surprised she doesn't see trying to change up her cooking as a really cool challenge. Mainly because I've seen so many other people react this way, so I know it's a pretty common reaction.

The other things is, when you have kids, you aren't doing them any favors by getting them used to eating foods that aren't good for them in the long run. I have seen so many people on the boards (women mostly) saying things like:

I have to have chips/cookies/soda/candy in the house because my kids/husband like that food and they didn't have surgery so I shouldn't be punishing them.

My response to that is: why is serving your family healthy foods "punishing" them? Why isn't poisoning them with crappy junk food seen as punishing them?

I think it shows how screwed up our attitudes are about food that we think this way. The way I look at it is that my kids deserve better than eating junk food in between all their meals. I buy what they want of the healthy, good quality foods. I'll buy any fruit they like no matter how expensive. I'll buy whatever brand or type of yogurt they want even if it's not my favorite. But I won't buy candy, cookies, chips, etc. If they want that stuff, they can eat it but they have to use their allowance to buy it or have it at other people's homes. I'm certainly not going to enable their unhealthy choices!