McNee
Formerfatdude and food porn perveyor
Staff
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: 4/8/2009
Surgery Type: RNY
From:: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 1718
Love the smell of paintball in the morning...
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« on: January 13, 2010, 06:04:22 AM » |
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So...if you get a note from someone on a personals site that just doesn't do anything for ya... do you reply back with a "thanks, but no thanks" kind of note.. or just let it slide....?
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T2Nashville
Queen of the Kitchen Freak
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: October 13, 2008
Surgery Type: VSG
Posts: 4741
Photo by Candy
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« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2010, 07:42:58 AM » |
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With eHarmony, they give you multiple choice options to send them - it can be anything from "I'm pursuing another relationship," to "I don't think we'd make a good match due to some items mentioned in your profile." And then you close the match.
With PoF, I take a look at their profile, and then respond that I just don't think we'd be a good match. I try not to mention specifics, because I don't want to be judgmental. But I do like to respond. Know why? Because I would really like to get SOME kind of response back from the guys I've emailed! I'd much rather they send SOMETHING rather than just ignore me.
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"The body vs. the mind - now THAT'S a fight!" Hetty from NCIS: Los Angeles
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TracyV
Jr. Freak
Surgery Date: 12/28/09
Surgery Type: LapBand
From:: Merrimack Valley, MA
Posts: 90
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« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2010, 09:33:16 AM » |
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I agree.
If I had sent the intro email, I'd rather have "thanks but no thanks", than no response.
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(Note: My ticker includes the 30lbs lost before surgery) ... and lead me not into temptation, for I know the way already. |
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baka
Mr. Wizard of Protein
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: 07-27-09
Surgery Type: RNY
From:: Surf City, CA
Posts: 4926
Tuo Ku Zi, Fang Pi
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« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2010, 05:11:47 PM » |
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Personally even if I didn't find the person "doing anything for me" I'd still treat them the way I would want to be treated myself and send them a reply.
Ian
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ATTN Freshly Pouched Freaks: Never, and I mean NEVER, trust a fart!
Fear Can Hold You Prisoner - Hope Can Set You Free!
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wtgrlady
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: 10/02/08
Surgery Type: RNY
Posts: 963
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« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2010, 06:44:30 PM » |
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I have a friend that uses the personals. She always appreciates a response even if it is a "no thanks", then not getting any response at all.
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Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!
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MelsReturn
BTV Pimpette
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: 10/10/06
Surgery Type: RNY
Posts: 791
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« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2010, 07:00:06 PM » |
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When I was on Match.com, I put a statement on my profile that said if I contact you, please have the courtesy to respond and acknowledge my gesture. It's rude not to otherwise. From that point on, I also gave everyone else the same courtesy, whether or not they were my type, etc. I would respond to them. I think it is is just courteous.
But then again... that is how I pulled Tim out of his shell. He saw my profile after I contacted him, and he felt bad so he responded. We've been together over 2 yrs. LOL
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kristopia
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: July 21, 2009, Dr. Armando Joya
Surgery Type: VSG
Posts: 2805
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« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2010, 11:02:23 PM » |
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I actually have begun to put in my profile, "please note that if I do not respond, it is never personal - it is simply that i do not think it is a a good match. It's online, people - lighten up  " Reason being, I used to reply to everyone whether I was interested or not - just politely saying thanks, but I am looking at another relationship or that I am just not interested, in a polite way. I would still often get freaking arguments or other statements back, either trying to pursue anyway, or being mad that I "rejected" them. Been doing this for a couple years now - so, I don't respond back anymore to those I'm not interested in. And I don't expect those not interested in me to respond either. |
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway." John Wayne |
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McNee
Formerfatdude and food porn perveyor
Staff
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: 4/8/2009
Surgery Type: RNY
From:: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 1718
Love the smell of paintball in the morning...
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« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2010, 06:16:57 AM » |
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I guess my first instinct was to reply.. a sort of "thanks, but..."
I've only gotten that in return once... and Kris, like you, I've gotten some not so positive responses when bring it up myself... and even feedback from other areas that I shouldn't reply if not interested.
Guess I kinda wondered if the "no response" was the acceptable norm, even if it feels like it's not the most polite way to handle it.
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HopenToBeThin
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: Pouch Date 6/15/09
Surgery Type: RNY
From:: KY
Posts: 2811
We lost 246 in 9 mths - 3/13/10
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« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2010, 06:20:47 AM » |
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It all sounds very complicated and makes me thankful for DH. Good Luck guys
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Paula
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kristopia
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: July 21, 2009, Dr. Armando Joya
Surgery Type: VSG
Posts: 2805
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« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2010, 06:21:09 PM » |
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Rob - I think it's whatever you're comfortable with and makes YOU feel good. If everyone could be polite, I'd love to hear back from any men I've contacted - if anything to say, "Hey, thanks for noticing me - good luck in your search!" That tells me you're not interested while not being ugly about it. However, some people are a bit thick and wouldn't get that. And again, some people take online dating WAY too seriously. Better to know that it's all in fun, and you MIGHT get lucky and meet someone special.  |
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway." John Wayne |
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Pete in Australia
Jr. Freak
Surgery Date: Thursday 24th July 2008
Surgery Type: Sleeve gastrectomy Dr Phil Lockie, Brisbane Private Hospital, Australia
From:: Down 110lb (50kg), no health problem, got me some muscles, a partner & feelin' great.
Posts: 61
Blowing out birthday candles sep/oct2009
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« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2010, 06:48:30 PM » |
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Hey Rob
I would always send a reply if someone made the effort to contact me.
Kristopia suggestion is fantastic
'Hey, thanks for noticing me. Sorry but I don't think we are a good match. Wishing you good luck in your search'
You should treat others as you would like to be treated yourself and let then down gently.
Pete
PS Rob you appear to be a wonderful man but dont think we are compatible. I am flattered by your interest and wish you well in your search for love.
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No longer putting things off and enjoying the best life I can.
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kristopia
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: July 21, 2009, Dr. Armando Joya
Surgery Type: VSG
Posts: 2805
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« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2010, 07:21:51 PM » |
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LOL- nice PS  |
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway." John Wayne |
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mommchan
Grand Poohbah of Freaks
Surgery Date: We should know soon... Dear God Please.
Surgery Type: VSG
From:: Genesee, MI
Posts: 708
Cruise June 2010 Megans Bay, St Thomas USVI
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« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2010, 09:19:33 PM » |
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Way to go Pete that was priceless,
and I believe you're right, Kris has the right idea!
Neice
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Forever yours, Neice
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All You Single People