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[homegal49]

I have a problem which I am sure is not common among WLS patients. I am one year post surgery and 13 lbs below goal weight, and struggling not to lose more.

I honestly feel that I committed to the post surgery program so completely that I can't or won't change my mind-set. My weight wavers between 119 and 123. I am obsessed with the scale, weighing myself each morning and evening. If I gain a pound, I go back to basics the next day and try to lose a pound. In the back of my mind, my goal is to stay below 120.

I know someone is going to suggest a therapist, but I see a therapist and all the talking in the world has not helped.  My psychiatrist has diagnosed me with persistent depressive disorder, and has me on some OCD meds, which she hopes will stabilize my mood. My mental health team and I are at a loss to change my mind-set.

I feel guilty for being so obsessed with my weight. My mother has said I look like I have been ill, and my brothers are concerned about me. But I feel great! Lots of energy, off all meds except psychiatric and thyroid meds, and satisfied with life.

Basically, I'd like to hear if any others have this problem. From what I have researched, about .5 percent of all WLS patients have this problem. Boy, have I been hesitant to post about this problem. It is so the opposite of most posts, and I fear would be offensive.

[baka]

I was talking about this very subject with my surgeon the other day and he always tells his patients to use the 5-10lb cushion because of the way our bodies retain water at times due to various reasons.

As we've all battled the tubby demons for far too many years to remember. It's only natural for patients who fully bought into the program to be scared shit-less of packing on the lbs yet again....

We're so used to the failed attempts at losing weight in the past that our minds/demons are saying.... "It's only a matter of time before tubby packs this diet in and gives me my super size meals and deserts back".

Make sure your keeping a log of your nutritional intake so you can chart it over the weeks and months and see little deviations and how they correlate to the scale.

I'd also reach out to your NUT and see what he/she has to say....... As sad as it is to admit a lot o NUTS have no fricken clue so I hope you find a good one.

Ian

[shepkatt]

Hi Homegal..

I felt this same way at a year out.  People kept telling me I was too skinny but I felt great.  I was paranoid about gaining anything..  would constantly monitor my weight..  How could I not?  For the last year all I did was live and breath weight loss surgery stuff.

As the time went on and I became more comfortable at my new weight and with my new lifestyle I started relaxing a bit more.  Also.. my body seemed to kinda fill out.. where I looked gaunt before - I now looked healthy.. I think that my insides had to catch up with the rapid weight loss..

You are doing all the right things.. you are talking to people who can help you through this.. I think at this point you just need time.. time to get used to the new you.

And don't feel bad about posting anything.. you will not be attacked here - I promise.

[Big Mickey]

Hey Homegal,

     First off thank you for joining in and sharing your issue with us. I think that you'll find that folks here certainly won't be offended by it. On the contrary I'll bet you get a bunch of replies trying to help. And along that line let me offer this up...

     When it comes to goal weight I think that there is to much emphasis being placed on a specific number that a health care professional pulls from a chart. This is a baseline standard that gets applied across the board to everyone equally, which in my non-medical, but applying common sense opinion, is rubbish!! The only way that could truly be applied equally is if we were all genetic clones of each other.

    People are individuals and their goal weight should be as well. I would argue that you could take 2 people of the same height who are healthy and they could have different weights. I can tell you that when Toni bottomed out on her weight loss she was VERY thin. Yes she was at goal, but she looked far from healthy at that weight. She has allowed some of that weight to come back and is still feeling great and looking much more beautiful.

    So here would be my suggestion. It sounds like the issue is drastically tied to this number that you health care provider has stuck into your head. I would suggest that number needs to be adjust to take into account your struggles with it. If adding 10 pounds won't affect your health physically, and I am sure it won't, but will drastically improve your state of mental well being. Then I would allow yourself to add those 10 pounds. After all you did this so that you could find happiness in your life, right now it sounds as if your not quite there yet.

    Of course I'm not a doctor so these are just my common sense opinions. But give them a try, hell if it doesn't work you know now that you can shed those 10 pounds if needed.

Mike

[T2Nashville]

Teri - as others have said, you can post anything here, and not have to worry about judgment. That's what I love about this place.

First of all, congratulations on your phenomenal weight loss! You worked hard to get there, and you should be proud of yourself. I know you are enjoying your new life, your new energy, and your new clothes. I know I do!

Secondly, you'd be surprised at the many good friends I have here who are also on some kind of medication to deal with depression, PCOS, and other common occurrences after WLS. There is no shame in getting help and taking medication if you need to. Balance is what our lives is all about, so get it however you can!

Thirdly, it's very sweet of your family to be so concerned for you, but they don't live in your body. No one knows your body better than you do, and if you feel you need help, fine. If not, and you feel great, then that's fine, too. The best thing you can do for your family is continue to communicate openly with them about how great you're doing, how much you love your life, and be as positive as you can. That way, they won’t be as concerned for your health if they know you’re feeling great.

I weigh about 50 pounds more than you do, and I feel pretty good at this weight as my goal. It’s a different number for everyone. I wear a size 10, and I’m very happy with my clothes, my life, and my weight. You’ll know when your body is comfortable, because my body simply refuses to lose much more, unless I starve it to death. May I suggest journaling your food for awhile? Maybe if you look at what you’re eating and how many calories you’re consuming, you might see where you could safely make some changes.

You’re gonna do great, and we all have much to learn from you, so keep posting and let us know how you’re doing.

[ttowe]

Great advice from everyone....

toni

[MelsReturn]

Why heck, you're just one year postop...  you've just described me at 2 yrs postop... Its been something that's taken time and determination but now I can weigh once a week and not obsess over it.  And, I dont have a heart attack if the scale is up and down those 5 lbs....(TOM)

[HopenToBeThin]

Hey Homegal,
Welcome to the forum.  I do not have your issue currently, but know a few people who do or have had it.  One of the ladies in my local group said the Dr told her to only weigh once a week, and give her body a chance to find it's true set point.  Sounded like pretty good advice to me and she says after she started that she lost about 5 more and then gained back about 10-15 pounds and at three years out is maintaining and doing fine.  I am sure it is not all that uncommon, cause lets face it, we have to have this life style in our face 24/7 pretty much till we get to goal.  I am sure it will be hard to let some of that go once I get to goal (which I am at this point thinking is in the range of 155-130, even though the Dr says 131).  Wishing you the best of luck with this and hoping to hear soon that you have gotten past this successfully.  Please keep coming back and joining in on the discussions.

[kiersti]

Homegal - I can totally relate.  And I have real concerns and fears about cross addictions like anorexia and bulimia.  I use this forum as my primary support group because the other groups in my area are too far, not at the right time....plop excise here...and this group has been incredibly valuable in helping me "keep my head screwed on straight."

I think I am still losing but my losing has slowed WAY DOWN at this stage and at first I was panic stricken.  So I reached out here and had a few posters pull me back to reality.  I can definitely see the obsession with weight and food being strong in the first year or two after losing the weight....because the FEAR is there.  Will I be the one to fail this.  I have even explained to my husband and family that I will probably lose more in the beginning and then stabilize at a more "normal" weight for me to maintain.  I do this in part to avoid the ..."aren't you too thin" comments - or at least have something to respond with.  [Which I am starting to get from my MIL, ugh.]

I don't know.. I am rambling.  I just wanted you to know you are not alone and this fear is gripping.  I have thrown myself into reading more and more about nutrition and really trying to understand what my body needs from the food I eat.  I spend a lot of time in the gym, because I really do love it, and I am getting concerned that I am not eating enough carbohydrates to properly provide the energy for working out AND muscle repair and recovery.  But adding carbs, even healthy complex carbs is terrifying.  I feel this fear is irrational and I am working on ... but again - you are definitely not alone and thank you for posting this.  I have started a similar string twice now only to delete it out of the same fear you had....that people would be offended.

[homegal49]

Thank you all so much for the support and advice. This is a very good and well populated site and I like it. I think I will just be content with my weight and let it sort itself out, as you suggested. Again, Thank You!

Teri