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[mewithin]

I am pre-op ,just got my psyc eval scheduled for fri. YAY!! I was wondering though after all the weight loss does anyone "feel"different. I know I know ,lighter but does it change your personality any?

[nature girl]

I would say sort of.  For me I went from being "very" self conscious to very not!  It's not like I'm running around naked or anything (well at least in a bikini on the beach). But my self confidence is up! My self esteem is UP.  Those are parts of me that changed.



Amy

[ttowe]

good one Amy...

I don't know if it's the weight loss or just age...but I tend to really care less what others think about me.

Not so much of a "people pleaser" anymore.

Toni

[kiersti]

I have seen personality changes - but all for the better really.

Confidence is booming.

Social anxiety is melting...

And no - I am not out running around naked either - but I just feel like I am a better ME because I actually give a damn about me now.  I think about what I may want to do or would like - I find that I am not always putting myself last - which has been empowering for me.  Admittedly stressful for my husband.  Putting myself first and working on being the best me I can be I thought wold HELP the marriage when it looks like it is hurting it, at least in the short term

What I am trying to figure out now.  Why.  Am I really being selfish?  Or is my husband thrown off kilter because I am no longer a satellite to his sun....  Time will tell.  But frankly I like being the best me I can possibly be...and I am happier to boot!

[nature girl]

I still sort of "care" what others think of me - it's just a little different. 

Spartanfan1973 totally cracked up laughing at the mere mention of me and body dysmorphia - I am so totally the opposite of that.  Now I know I look good - I feel like a total heartbreaker --- especially driving my hot rod.



Amy

[HopenToBeThin]

I have noticed that I don't have as many filters as I did before.  If I am not careful, if it hits the mind, it comes out of the mouth.  I have been teased unmercifully at work cause a few weeks ago we were in a project kickoff meeting and something that was said was total rubbish and I bascially told the guy it was "bulls**t" (the ** are so I don't offend anyone here, although that is unlikely with this bunch  ).  I am trying to not be that blunt, but sometimes I just don't have the patience to be as "sweet tea southern sweet" as I used to be.  I am not rude, but am more apt to call it like I see it with out going to the trouble to pretty it up any.  Maybe it is a confidence level thing, cause I would have just thought it before and not said anything.

[Bariatric After Life by Cari]

I don't know if it's the weight loss or just age...but I tend to really care less what others think about me.

Not so much of a "people pleaser" anymore.

Go, Toni! I think I mostly resemble that remark (LOL).

Here's how I would clarify in my own situation: While I still "care" what others think, I only "care" about the opinions of those whom I "care" about. In other words, I care what my hubby thinks (because he matters), and I care that my boss thinks I'm doing my job, but I don't care about other things my boss thinks, ya know? I used to worry that he thought I was fat, or ugly, or whatever (stooopid), but now, I don't give a crap what he thinks (because I know I rock - LOL)

Now, I still fight the urge to change people's opinions of me, but I don't act on it like I used to. In other words, I respond, rather than react, and not everything deserves a response. I'm much more confident in my presence, opinions, appearance, abilities -- you name it.

Overall, the easiest way to describe it is to say I've become the woman I always was. I am truly the completed version of ME -- still a work in progress -- but someone I can actually admire and be proud of :-)

It is an amazing journey, if you're willing to meet the REAL YOU!

[mewithin]

replying to my own post.....I have been on a year loooooong diet and during this time I have done alot of soul searching. I found that I have been really impatient with people close to me (defense mechanism from being hurt??). After this year I am better, laughing more, more patient, more kind. I don't think I was really mean just to be mean but just fraustrated as all get out! I wonder if that will change more when I'm not so focused on how much pain I'm in because of the weight.Will my feeling toughin up so I'm not always getting them hurt?

[kiersti]

You know GBB - good point.

I do care more about my appearance and my clothing choices, and if my hair looks good.  Because I FEEL attractive now.  Compared to when I felt invisible in the past.

[nature girl]

Well, I think if you are sensitive now you will be sensitive after.  Some of that might need professional counseling to get to the root cause, you know?

I agree with Barbie - I feel like I have become what I have always wanted to be. A mom who goes out and does things with the kids - biking, fishing, swimming, camping, walking, exercising (yeah, they don't let me slack anymore) etc....
I feel like I have come out of my shell.  I guess that's why I am so excited for Spartanfan1973 right now - I can just imagine her next year - slimmer and out of her shell enjoying life with her baby (who is almost a toddler)!


Amy

[MacMadame]

My personality is the same.

But my life is very different. I am an athlete for one thing! I also go to bed a lot earlier and get up earlier. I spend way more time outside. I wear clothes that I never would have worn as a MO person.

That's enough change for me. 

[MelsReturn]

I am not the same person I used to be.  My mother even said so.  One day while spending time together, she said, "I miss the Old Melinda."  She said that there was an innocence about the old me, naivity, just a genuine "wholeness" for lack of better word.  In particular, I know she was talking about my spirituality and sensitivity to others. I lived a very sheltered life, never partied, never had <ahem> "relations" as they refer to in the Nutty Professor!      But when I lost all the weight...  I was ready to experience some things that I never had before.  

And the old me would do anything for anyone BECAUSE I wanted them to like me.  I wanted to be accepted.  I worked to find acceptance.  But, now I no longer do that.  People either like me, or they don't.  I am not going to go out of my way to change their opinion of me.  I also worked very hard on projects for others, but never received credit because others abused my graciousness and took all the credit for themselves.  I worked hard, gave all, only to find that people came back for more, never acknowledged my help, and stole all the recognition.

I never really knew what Melinda wanted.  What was it that was important to ME?  What were MY gifts, and abilities?  What did I want to do?  I was weary of being what others wanted me to be.  When I looked into the mirror, I saw different shadows of what others had reflected and projected onto my life.  I didn't see ME, and what I was created to be and do.  That made me sad.  the past few years, I've struggled to find areas that I really enjoy, and to express myself in my own way.  

I am also still learning how to relate to others.  Some of my interpersonal skills (as I believe other obese people have problems with as well) were lacking (especially when it came to speaking to men).  I had to learn how to be in crowds, how to talk to people, how to carry on conversations and not be afraid of men.  And, that is something that I still struggle with.  

Have I changed?  Yes.  For the better?  Some ways.  And in other ways, I think it depends on who you ask.  Asking the person who wants something FROM me...  NO, its not for the better because they won't get too far.  Ask me, and I say yes, for the better.  Now I don't live my life to please others to the point that its unhealthy for me.  I no longer work for acceptance.  That is a good thing.

I'm still evolving.

[mewithin]

Thank you Mel for sharing.

[auntb]

I think in many ways we just become more ourselves ( like same color but brighter shade). More of the good and more of the other. We don't stand in the back row and duck any more. We are noticed a lot more because  we do not "hide" in plain sight.

Men notice you more and act on it so there is that. I had on a slim fitting dress the other day and my 15 year old godson told me "that's a nice and I mean nice dress ". Then I went into the store and apparently a guy was checking me out and when I got back in the car the godson was mad he didn't like it at all. I of course was oblivious If I had noticed I guess I would have thought I had something stuck to my shoe.

Women notice and you get placed differently in the order of things ( sad but true). I watched my sister in laws and niece size me up during the holidays ( they are nice people) I was no longer the biggest one in the room and the "sexiest" one who has gained a little had a hard time with that.

I just don't think it's us changing so much as others noticing and reacting to us differently that in the past - so we react right back to the new situation. This startles every one.

IMHO

[Kierie]

Most of my adult Life I've been bubbly and outgoing. . .I'm Kierie that's what I do
I am more apt to speak up for me now
Less people pleasing
More apt to shut out Negative BS and not try to make ppl brighten their day

But it's a process and I think it's not just being thinner but also being older and wiser