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[baka]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".


 

Ian

[saucywench]

   funny

[baka]

Paddy was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a newly discovered diet.

"I want you to eat regular meals for 2 days , then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 more weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When Paddy returned, he shocked his doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions ?"

Paddy nodded, "I'll tell ya though, by jeasuz, I thought I was going to drop dead dat 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean ?"

"No, from all the friggin' skipping!"

 

Ian

[baka]

Concerned About Too Many Carbs In Your Diet?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies......

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

Ian

[moira]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".


 

Ian

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, That really made me laugh , ty

[2bthinagain]

Cute, cute, cute. You made me smile.


Vickie

[David Schronce]

As my dear wife is wont to remind me:  How is a man like a bottle of fine wine?

 They are both empty from the neck up.

[Cheryl Damon]

LOL, thanks for the chuckle guys!!

[Seht]

A Husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in cart.
His Wife barks, "What do you think you're doing?"
The husband replies, "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans."
The wife says, "Put them back, we can't afford them."
A few aisles further the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream & puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
The wife says, "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful."
Her husband fires back, "So do 24 cans of beer & they're half the price.

[saucywench]

  wow....lol

[Indykitty]

Oh! Too funny! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!