I seem to have taken over this thread, didn't mean to...but today I have to rant for a while and I hope you don't mind. There isn't another place where I feel comfortable doing this, so I appreciate your patience.
Today I went to the doctor for my one month check up. I have lost a lot of weight (to my way of thinking) and thought I would have a nice visit.
Now, I like my doctor but he is definitely tough and would not be for everyone. He is big (maybe 6'4") and forceful and I have always been a bit intimidated by him. I like him, he's one of the top docs in California...but I am scared of everything, so sometimes he intimidates me.
Okay, so he asked me what I was eating. I told him I was still on pureed/soft food (which is what his literature says to eat) Also that today was my day to move onto chopped foods and he went ballistic!
Why was I still eatting pureed food? Why? Why? Why?
I tried to tell him about my 3rd week trip into "I'll eat whatever I want" land and how sick I was, so I went back to softer foods. .
He said I should be eating chicken, I told him I had tried and it made me sick.
I should be eatting eggs and on and on...told him I had but he had stopped listening by then.
Then I tried to ask him about the "Month of Misery" and he asked what I was talking about. I told him about BTV and how I had been warned to watch out for certain problems. He went ballistic again - said that only happens in 6% of cases and I should not go onto a place where they tried to scare me and on and on again!
By this time, I felt like I was plastered to the back of the chair by his outrage! Every time I tried to get a word in edgewise, he'd start again.
I went to the front and made an appointment for another month and he found the literature that he had sent me - the literature that I had been following like a religious transcript (well, except for that one weekend) and he shows me the paper that says "Pureed/Soft Food" He points to the examples and says "See? We gave you examples...you aren't suppose to be just eatting pureed food!" I said that that was what I was
eatting. He didn't seem to believe me! He sort of threw his hands up in the air and left.
So darn weird...
So, I left feeling like a failure, when I actually thought I was learning slowly how to live with this crazy thing I have done.
Then tonight for dinner, I had some lovely soft fish...paired with some fruit...and it got stuck and I thought I was going to die a slow and ugly death...and I would never find out who got kicked off of "Dancing With The Stars"...
My daughter told me to not let it get to me, the whole doctor thing, but it's hard. I am such an insecure person anyway and here is the guy I trusted to help me going ballistic! I don't get it...
So, here I am, pouring my heart to you all because I know you will understand me. And I have no intention of not coming back. I have gotten so much good info here, and so much support. I could not have lived through the last few weeks without you.
Thanks for listening...sorry about the book I wrote...